As an academic coach, one of the goals I often champion is achieving balance: combining just the right amount of academic rigor with family time, physical exercise, artistic or musical pursuits, social engagement, and rest. Many of our children fail to achieve balance – (heck, many of us fail to do so as well!). Usually this is because they or we become overly obsessed with any one area: enrolling in too many AP classes, binge watching Netflix, playing video games endlessly, partying too much, or becoming consumed by a hobby or sport. Balance falls by the wayside.
As families struggle to make difficult decisions about how to achieve balance for their children, they prioritize; and one priority families frequently make is to forego participation in an extracurricular activity, such as a school sport, for the sake of academics. I would caution parents not to jump to this resolution too quickly.
Time management is a skill that must be learned, and we learn time management by having a tight schedule. No student learns time management by having two hours of homework to do during six available hours at home in the evening. Students learn to juggle their busy lives by being under some stress. Scheduling study time and prioritizing homework assignments become necessary when time is short. Students become more productive, efficient, and resilient when they hone these skills. If we shelter our children from all stress, we inhibit their resilience and development of time management skills.
Dedication to extracurricular activities sometimes leads to students’ missing class time. Athletes depart early from school for away matches or games. This is an opportunity for students to cultivate independence and to demonstrate responsibility. Guide your child to communicate with teachers about missed class time; do not assume that the teacher knows of an impending absence. Instead, encourage your child to communicate by email or in person about an upcoming game and to attend to any missed assessments by scheduling a make-up before the absence occurs. (And do not do it for them!)
Students may also need to communicate with peers to obtain class notes and to ensure they stay on track. They learn the importance of interdependence, that they need each other to be successful. We want our children to practice navigating these waters before they leave home for college or a career.
Bottom line, the message sent to our children when we place academics above all other activities is that perhaps balance is not important after all. Academics should be high on the priority list, but remember that the old adage holds true, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Encourage your children to embrace and pursue their interests, and enable them to develop the skills they need to seek balance in their lives.