Through the years, my students have reaped the benefits of encouraging and engaging teachers whose compassion pervades all that they do. These teachers enthusiastically impart wisdom and life skills. Every now and then, however, my students will land in a high school classroom where the teacher-student connection is lacking, to say the least. Turmoil ensues. The student complains. Perhaps more students complain. A parent complains, and before you know it, a slew of parents have lodged complaints. Sometimes these complaints are justified.
I believe that teachers worthy of complaint fall into one or more of the following four categories:
1. The teacher who fails to teach. This typically well-educated teacher wastes class time by sharing personal stories and straying off-topic without conveying fundamental material.
2. The teacher who is unable to teach. This teacher has been misplaced in a subject matter beyond his or her capabilities or, in contrast, is very intelligent but lacks the capacity to reduce the material to a form comprehensible for the high school class level.
3. The teacher who is disconnected. This fortunately rare teacher does not care about the students but likely landed the job by chance or circumstance. He or she is not intent on mentoring or teaching the students. This teacher is usually unavailable to students for tutorials.
4. The teacher who is unenthusiastic. This teacher is either burnt out from years of teaching or lacks the fervor necessary to motivate and to engage students.
Often paired with one or more of these traits is the teacher’s keen proclivity to issue grades arbitrarily.
If your high-school-aged child falls into a class with a teacher worthy of complaint, what should you do?
In most cases, you should do very, very little. Be there for moral support and to listen carefully to ensure that your child’s physical or mental well-being is not at stake. Refrain from bad mouthing the teacher. Encourage and guide your child to handle the problem tactfully himself or herself by addressing the teacher directly first or by seeking out a guidance counselor or principal, as necessary.
This is the real world in action. Do not shelter your high schooler from this experience. Your child needs to develop the skills necessary to adapt – to be able to interact and to work cooperatively with different, or perhaps difficult, personality types. In the process, your child will develop resilience and hopefully some very important autodidactic skills. He or she may also gain negotiating and communication skills.
If your assessment of the situation requires your parental intervention, do so professionally and by following the proper chain of command. Come armed with evidence and a calm demeanor and include your child in the process.
Situations such as these are infrequently resolved to a parent’s satisfaction, but be reassured that your child is learning a lot from this frustrating experience.