My family enjoys board games, or so I thought. On vacations, each evening after dinner, my extended family gathers around the table and plays a game or two: Outburst, Scattergories, Backgammon, Texas Hold ‘Em, Scrabble, Five Crowns, Codenames, among a myriad of other favorites. The competition is fierce. The attitudes are not always appropriate, and I may catch a few relatives cheating on occasion. The game playing extends well into the evening until someone, usually the relative who is well “ahead,” expresses fatigue, and the group disbands for bed. I always enjoy the time together, even though I have to admit that some of the game playing is intense.
One evening, I asked my husband of over a decade and after many a game-playing vacation night, if he’d like to play a board game at home, and he famously replied, “I’d rather sit here and do nothing.” He was not joking, and his preference had nothing to do with how often he wins. Depending on the game, he can crush me every time.
Perhaps you have seen this pattern in your family as well: Some family members are game players; others are decidedly not. I will not purport to understand the basis for this phenomenon; however, what I do find interesting is the non-game board players are always male in my family, especially in a group setting. Obviously, we cannot extrapolate my family’s experiences and assume that a similar pattern would occur within the larger population, but the question intrigues me.
Earlier this month, I saw every major publication pick up on a Wall Street Journal article about the alarming decline of the male college student population, “A Generation of American Men Give Up on College: ‘I Just Feel Lost.’” Despite having the greater population share according to statistics that break down the gender of our college-aged U.S. populace, men are enrolling in college at an alarmingly lesser rate: approximately 40.5% of American college students are male, while 59.5% of college students are female. Moreover, 71% of college dropouts during the pandemic are men.
At its heart, school has become a board game to be won, and some students do not want any part of it. They, quite literally, would rather sit in a chair “doing nothing.” School today contains a lot of gender biases. Some lean in favor of men - most notably the opportunity to access leadership roles - but the majority of biases lean in favor of women. I see this pattern within my own student population. Boys are asked at a very young age to sit in a circle and stare at a worksheet when doing so is usually counter to the natural tendencies of that gender. Physical education and activity have largely disappeared from the school day. AP curriculum arguably is nothing but a game: how fast and well can our students memorize, understand, and apply the critical elements of the course. Yes, these critical elements have application to the larger world, but gone is the creativity, the curiosity, the spark that so often engages our children. Our teenaged girls are better at “this” game and have proven so by their academic achievements.
Our American education system is in definite need of reform, and we cannot wait for the policy makers to enact change. If our children are struggling, as so many are, we must act now to right their education and to reengage our students. Our high school students may be intrigued by aviation, drone technology, or carpentry, all offered at the Career Center, but those options are not on their board games. To win the game, students (and their parents) feel compelled to max out AP courses, regardless of whether they have an interest in the course, so they can “advance to” the proverbial “finish line.” In my experience, more boys than girls feel hamstrung by the “rules” of the game. My female students are usually more compliant; however, a layer of anxiety often lurks just beneath the surface for so many teenaged girls.
To further complicate matters, the statistics reverse themselves when we examine careers. Men have a stronger opportunity to access leadership roles, jobs, and higher pay than their female counterparts. I have yet to read an analysis of the entire situation, from education to employment, that can isolate the causalities because too many factors are at play; however, we must trust our own instincts.
The solution – let’s start valuing and listening to our children. Every child is unique, and not all of them should be forced to sit at the game table and to play according to someone else’s rules. Respect is critical as well, so students should not become dictatorial brats about their educations, who insist on getting their way; however, educational priorities should include achieving learning growth, pursuing individual curiosities, developing life skills and a strong work ethic, ensuring mental and physical health, and seeking lesson plans that meet the needs of our children without blindly following a canned or textbook curriculum.
Teachers, let’s seek to have fun in the classroom and to shake up the curriculum. Parents, lets raise our voices, dump AP curricula, and get back to a high school curriculum that does not straitjacket our children. For the board-game lover in me, there is time for that approach as well, but let’s not allow it to become stale. Let's listen to and heed our children's needs.
My husband maxed out his education. He’s the true definition of a lifelong learner, but he also uses the “H” word to describe school. As a student, he understood that, for him to do what he wanted to do, he had to play the game. Not every student can adapt, though. Our schools need to make room for all kinds of learners.