The month of June always reminds me of camp. I spent summers teaching campers to swim at Camp Seafarer, a sailing camp for girls on the coast of North Carolina, and my two sons went as campers and counselors to Seafarer’s brother camp, Camp Sea Gull, where they developed greater independence, teambuilding skills, and confidence. I’m a big fan of residential camps where children can disconnect from their devices and, frankly, from their parents to explore the outdoors and themselves in a safe haven. When done right, camp can boost the potential of our children and prepare them to leave the nest one day.
My husband has long volunteered as a camp doctor at Camp Seafarer, so we have continued to return each summer. The camp director traditionally shares a Thought for the Day each morning at breakfast. Many of these Thoughts for the Day linger in my subconscious, and favorites, usually written by the camps’ founders Wyatt and Lil Taylor, are repeated from year to year when we return.
One beloved Thought for the Day is often on my mind as summer begins: “Our days are like identical suitcases, but some can pack more into them than others.” I have traveled with girlfriends who are amazing packers. They can somehow fit thirty outfits into their carry-on bags with ease, knowing how to mix and match items so they look fresh each day. This quote, though, speaks more to time management skills than to organizational skills.
At camp, because children are disconnected from social media and search engines, they can freely explore nature, pursue activities, and connect with others without distraction. They learn, by choice, to dedicate most of their time to a single activity, developing expertise there, or to pursue broad exposure to a wide variety of activities. A few campers, though, squander their time and accumulate fewer skills, whether they are burnt out from the school year or are generally unhappy or depressed. They may also have poor time management skills. Of course, the camp counselors work with them to improve their experience and to help them make better choices. The campers’ time management snafus at camp, however, are not due to technology.
Largely, though, during the school year, many teenagers pack very light suitcases and have significant time management problems that are due to technology.
Last month, the Surgeon General issued a warning about the effects of social media on children, referencing concerns about its violent and sexual content and the frequent presence of bullying and harassment. While not every child “lives” his or her life on social media, I am stunned at how many of our young adults post daily and by how much and what they post. According to a survey published by Common Sense Media, teenagers spend eight hours and 39 minutes on average on their phones every day. Moreover, that same survey revealed that thirteen-year-olds check their social media accounts a minimum of 100 times a day. I believe that the Surgeon General’s warning is not overhyped. Our children are facing a time management crisis. Their phones are filling the bulk of their proverbial suitcases and robbing them of healthier pursuits.
As much as I enjoy reading about where my students are traveling and about their critical life moments on social media, I hate seeing over-sexualized selfies, and I cringe at their, perhaps inadvertent, displays of wealth and elitism. While your children are at home this summer, I suggest that you would be wise to observe their phone interactions, to check their daily screen times, and to monitor their social media posts.
Brace yourself. . . I truly think that we should just delete these social media accounts from our children’s phones. I know what I am saying, and I know the pushback – the earthquake – that will result in households:“You are going to decimate my social life!” But I believe that the feared fallout is untrue. If you are paying for your child’s phone AND your child is not using social media in a healthy way, delete it. The costs of social media far outweigh any benefits, in my opinion as an academic coach. Many children are disconnected from schoolwork, from chores, from families, and from interests because they are consumed by living an elusive life, when the key to finding that idyllic peace is to pack more “living” into our daily suitcases. I dare say that our children’s social connections without social media may be fewer but much more meaningful as a result.