When my oldest son was a junior in high school, I distinctly remember one evening, about this time of year, that he had to travel over an hour for a tennis match. He returned home, notably fatigued, on a bus at or around 10:30 pm that night. His course load, much like that of many of your children, contained a hefty dose of AP classes, and he was scheduled for three tests the next day. In a move that was decidedly unlike him, he asked me to write him a note so he could miss a class and defer a test or two. My son was very conscientious, and he consistently worked diligently in school. Still, I refused. I recognized in the moment that, yes, his GPA might take a hit, and yes, he might understand the material better if afforded more time; however, I wanted him (and his younger brother) to respect the importance of a deadline (and of integrity). He had known in advance of his tests that day. He had known in advance of his away tennis match that day, too, but he had not planned ahead, at least not adequately enough to meet his own satisfaction. In retrospect, he should have gotten a bigger jump on his studying the weekend before.
I admit that I now cringe at how harshly I delivered this news. I was not the popular parent in our household, especially that day. My son was, and is, incredibly responsible; however, I had witnessed many other parents make these exceptions for their children, and I knew that it was a dangerous path. I wanted to instill in my own children that deadlines are not negotiable and that attendance is of utmost importance.
Today, student absenteeism is reaching chronic levels in high school classrooms. Last week, I listened to a podcast on The Daily, entitled “Kids Are Missing School at an Alarming Rate.” In this podcast, Sarah Mervosh, an education reporter for The New York Times, highlighted data to establish the significant growth in student absenteeism following the pandemic. Specifically, in the last five years, chronic absenteeism, defined as missing at least 10 percent of school, has almost doubled, from a student population of 15 percent to 28 percent. A closer look reveals that in public school classrooms, chronic absenteeism has grown from 19 to 32 percent, almost one third of all public school students, and in private school classrooms, it has increased from 10 to 19 percent.
Her report rang true to me. As an academic coach, I have found myself counseling families with much greater frequency about why skipping classes for flimsy reasons is a bad habit and why every course must be treated as core curriculum, including art, foreign language, and music.
Mervosh attributes part of these higher percentages to an increase in viruses; however, she notes that perhaps even more significant contributing factors are the growing anxiety in and the depressive tendencies of our children. Moreover, these mental health factors have become a vicious cycle, where children’s choices to avoid school because of fear and anxiety actually “beget more fear and anxiety.”
Now, absenteeism has become normalized. Parents find it more acceptable to withdraw their children from school for a vacation or to allow them to skip school for nebulous reasons. Our absenteeism culture has inadvertently suggested to other students the acceptability of missing school.
At a time when our children have not yet bridged the academic losses from remote learning, chronic absenteeism is compounding the detrimental effects of these losses. Many of my academic coaching students are struggling because they lack respect for deadlines and often fail to report to class on time. Indeed, if a child has a below-B average in a class, absenteeism and the failure to respect deadlines are often critical contributing factors.
The working world is reflecting this trend as well. We are beginning to see the ramifications of remote work, where young professionals who work remotely are less likely to receive raises and promotions. After all, employers and teachers are much more likely to connect with the worker or the student who is actually present, on time, and visibly engaged.
As parents, we hold the power to reverse this trend. I can attest that doing so may become a battle at home, but it is a battle worth waging. I dare say that part of the reason that my sons are so attentive to deadlines and so responsible is because I demanded it of them. They never again asked me to excuse them from school short of verifiable illness. Popular, no, but necessary, yes.