My girlfriends and I have discussed how each of our children, at some point, has come home from school, and when asked about a test grade, or perhaps even as a preemptive gesture, he or she has proclaimed, ”Everybody bombed that test!”
Our replies may vary slightly, but they generally fall into one of the following categories:
· “I don’t care how everybody else did!”
· “Again?”
· “Even [insert smart kid’s name here]?”
Now, granted, by “bombed,” I am not talking about a B or even a B-. I mean at least two letter grades below the typical grades our children bring home.
The fact that your child may have “bombed” a singular test is not the concern. I am much more worried about the child who sails through high school without ever “failing” an assignment. How your child, and perhaps you, respond to that much-lower-than-usual grade, though, is of concern.
Abraham Lincoln once said, “My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.” As a parent, you should be concerned if neither your child nor your teacher is taking steps to improve your child’s understanding of the material.
First, you want your child to display grit. Many cite grit as the singular most important factor to a child’s academic success. (See, for example, the following TED talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the_key_to_success_grit?language=en). Encourage your child to struggle with the material. Direct him or her to consult the textbook, the teacher, YouTube, or Khan Academy.
Second, many courses are cumulative - they build on material learned earlier. This is particularly true in both math and foreign language classes but is also often the case in history and science. Your child should take swift steps to remediate the difficult material.
And do not mistake grit for the simple motivation for an improved grade. If your child gets out his or her trusty TI-84 calculator and starts to spout off expectations for higher grades on the next four assignments, which will raise his or her quarterly grade to an 89.5, be concerned. If your child’s gut reaction is to ask the teacher for the opportunity to make test corrections in exchange for extra credit or points back, that too is a cause for concern.
As an academic coach and parent, I try to instill in my students and children a desire to learn the material. Realistically, they must keep an eye on their grades as well, for the college race is ongoing, but first and foremost, acquiring the skills necessary to be a successful college student is paramount.
“Everybody bombed that test” could be your child’s waving the white flag. He or she may want to give up, to throw in the towel, to abandon attempts to understand the material at the expected level. If we want our children to have grit, we must demonstrate that we have grit as well. Do not assume that your child’s poor performance is the teacher’s fault. Even if it is, encourage your child to acquire the knowledge and skill necessary to move on. Grit it out!