The build-up to Hurricane Florence has been mind-blowing. Over a week ago, we first learned of her presence and potential impact on North Carolina. Since that time, we have witnessed nonstop news coverage and growing anticipation and fear of the storm. She has since wreaked havoc on people and property we love. Locally, we have ransacked the grocery stores and hunkered down indoors, often in what appeared to be nothing more than a rainstorm, but, foreseeing a deluge, we have stayed put, or we have ventured out precariously, aware that we are violating expected norms. We anxiously await the after-storm sunshine.
The week certainly has been an exercise in preparation and patience, and patience is not our long-suit. We live in a fast-paced world, with our phones sounding every few minutes and our attention bouncing from topic to topic. Our apparent singular focus on the approaching storm has bred discomfort, panic, and claustrophobia, especially in September, a very busy time of the year.
As parents, we would benefit from a wealth of patience. We often do not show tolerance for our children’s growth. We see the storm coming with their lackadaisical attitudes and their disinterest in homework and obligations, and we panic. We suddenly set abundant rules and boundaries surrounding after-school hours and weekends and seem surprised when our children are nonplussed, inert, or outwardly resistant. How can we avoid or minimize this turmoil?
Preparation. Parents should ideally set expectations and parameters around schoolwork well in advance of trouble signs. We should not wait for sirens to instill in our children the need and obligation to take schoolwork seriously, to prioritize work over pleasure, to minimize mindless weekday activities, and to cultivate pride in performance. We must demonstrate interest by asking to see their schoolwork, not to find fault but to celebrate successes and to share our genuine curiosity. By taking the necessary precautions to avoid a crisis in a storm, we are minimizing the need for a rescue effort, and, accordingly, our children will not be as stunned by our resulting alarm when they falter.
Patience. If a storm is already upon us, though, how should we react? As a culture, we must become more patient with our children’s growth. Every low grade should be taken seriously but as an opportunity for growth, not a catastrophe. Our presence, standing ready to offer support and help as needed, will facilitate that growth. Our patience and understanding that the rebuilding will require time will yield the best possible results.
I pray for resilience and recovery for our friends and family who have suffered at the hands of Hurricane Florence. May we not only act to support the recovery effort but also show patience and love for the suffering.