Love Is In the Air . . . Or Not!

         I have a student who just received the devastating news that his relationship had ended.  After over nine months of courtship and signs of promising affection, he received word from his loved one – by email, to boot – that his relationship would go no further.  My student is heartbroken!  He really thought this relationship would last, but it simply was not to be.  So, too, was the fate of so many of his classmates who also received word in the last two weeks that their dream school was simply not interested in them.

         Finding the right college placement is very much like a first relationship for our children.  The schools flirt with them by inundating our mailbox with glossy love letters and captivating photos.  Our students’ interest is piqued, and much money is invested in the relationship.  Our whole family plans a day trip, or perhaps a weekend trip, to explore the relationship.  The relationship escalates as our children become emotionally invested, through social media, websites, and otherwise, to ensure that they have found the “right” one.  They may even contact shared connections – others who know the school of interest.  They may seek the help of matchmakers, or college counselors, to help seal the deal. 

         Then, our children confess their undying love for the school in personal essays and divulge all of their deepest and darkest secrets, only to wait patiently thereafter, for months on end, wondering if their love will be returned.

         And, then, bam!  An email comes that breaks our children’s hearts and shreds their dreams into tiny pieces.  “We are not compatible,” the school says, or, in some cases, “I want to date other people and see where our relationship goes” (i.e., Waitlisted!).

         As parents, we know how difficult the path to love is to navigate.  What can we do to safeguard our children’s hearts and futures without usurping their independence?  Parents of sophomores and juniors take note:

         As an academic coach, I first caution my students about having an exclusive and elusive end-goal to their high school careers.  Instead, I recommend that they consult a college counselor and cultivate a generous list of college options that fits his or her interests, needs, and profile.  Be certain, I warn, to have plenty of choices, and while all choices will not be equal, all choices must be realistic and acceptable options.  In other words, date around!  There is more than one right mate for your child.  However long your college list is, add one or two more colleges to the list for good measure, because the percentage of applicants accepted to highly selective colleges dwindles each and every year.   Remember that yesterday’s safety is today’s reach, so make sure you have several attainable choices.

         After you have sufficiently readied yourself for the very real potential of heartache, encourage your child to put him or herself out there.  If your child’s dream is Harvard, and he or she has a fighting chance, then pull out all of the stops.  Special testing is required for these highly selective schools, including SAT Subject Tests, so do your research carefully or consult a professional.

         With all of the rejections sent out in the last two weeks, some folks are suggesting that where you go to school does not matter that much. (See Frank Bruni’s podcast on Times Insider:  http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/06/insider/college-admissions-stop-the-madness.html ) As much as I want to offer you solace and agree, I simply cannot.  While a student can graduate from a lesser name school, even a community college, and find tremendous success, the odds are not stacked in his or her favor.  We can debate the validity of college rankings, but consider those rankings that weigh the number of graduates employed and what their average salaries are.  These are measurable indicators of financial success.

         The college admissions process is not for sissies.  Your heart may well be broken.  Decide whether the risk is worth it, and, if so, go for it! 

Everybody Bombed That Test!

         My girlfriends and I have discussed how each of our children, at some point, has come home from school, and when asked about a test grade, or perhaps even as a preemptive gesture, he or she has proclaimed, ”Everybody bombed that test!” 

         Our replies may vary slightly, but they generally fall into one of the following categories:

·      “I don’t care how everybody else did!”

·      “Again?”

·      “Even [insert smart kid’s name here]?”

Now, granted, by “bombed,” I am not talking about a B or even a B-.  I mean at least two letter grades below the typical grades our children bring home.

         The fact that your child may have “bombed” a singular test is not the concern. I am much more worried about the child who sails through high school without ever “failing” an assignment.  How your child, and perhaps you, respond to that much-lower-than-usual grade, though, is of concern.

         Abraham Lincoln once said, “My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.” As a parent, you should be concerned if neither your child nor your teacher is taking steps to improve your child’s understanding of the material. 

         First, you want your child to display grit.  Many cite grit as the singular most important factor to a child’s academic success. (See, for example, the following TED talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the_key_to_success_grit?language=en). Encourage your child to struggle with the material.  Direct him or her to consult the textbook, the teacher, YouTube, or Khan Academy.

Second, many courses are cumulative - they build on material learned earlier.  This is particularly true in both math and foreign language classes but is also often the case in history and science.  Your child should take swift steps to remediate the difficult material.

         And do not mistake grit for the simple motivation for an improved grade.  If your child gets out his or her trusty TI-84 calculator and starts to spout off expectations for higher grades on the next four assignments, which will raise his or her quarterly grade to an 89.5, be concerned.  If your child’s gut reaction is to ask the teacher for the opportunity to make test corrections in exchange for extra credit or points back, that too is a cause for concern.

         As an academic coach and parent, I try to instill in my students and children a desire to learn the material.  Realistically, they must keep an eye on their grades as well, for the college race is ongoing, but first and foremost, acquiring the skills necessary to be a successful college student is paramount.

         “Everybody bombed that test” could be your child’s waving the white flag.  He or she may want to give up, to throw in the towel, to abandon attempts to understand the material at the expected level.  If we want our children to have grit, we must demonstrate that we have grit as well.  Do not assume that your child’s poor performance is the teacher’s fault.  Even if it is, encourage your child to acquire the knowledge and skill necessary to move on.  Grit it out!

Read This Before You Take the Redesigned SAT!

Do you remember when the sport of gymnastics changed its scoring in 2006?  Gone were the days when Nadia Comaneci’s perfect score of 10 was easily comprehensible.  In its place, the gymnastics world established complex scoring formulas, which require a degree in statistics to interpret.  The sport of gymnastics wanted to make achieving perfection a pursuit, more challenging for the gymnast.  This transition, though, made watching gymnastics a lot less accessible to the general public. 

So too is the case with the redesigned SAT, set to launch next month.  The College Board, which administers the test, has made its scoring more complex and more difficult to interpret.  I contend that the scoring is also unfairly misleading. 

The PSAT, administered this past October, follows the new scoring format, and since the release of PSAT scores last month, the College Board has been riddled with criticisms about the percentiles it assessed to its 2015 PSAT test takers.   

New this year, the College Board arbitrarily inflated PSAT percentiles by using a Nationally Representative Sample percentile, which shows how a student’s score compares to all United States students in a particular grade, “including those who don’t typically take the test.”  In other words, the percentile takes into account students with no intention of attending college. This score is in contrast to previously issued percentiles that reflected performance in relationship only to other test-takers.  High schools across the country are reporting higher numbers of students earning a 99th percentile score on the 2015 PSAT.  Moreover, on reports downloaded last month, the College Board shared only this misleading higher percentile.  These higher percentiles suggest to students that they have earned a more competitive standing than is accurate.

Why does this matter? In my opinion, the College Board, which has lost significant market share to its competitor, the ACT, is masking students’ true performance and luring them into signing up for the SAT.  Let me explain the set-up: 

The redesigned SAT scoring is quite complex and confusing:

·      The College Board has returned to the old scale, 400 to 1600 with just two sections (1) Evidence-Based Reading and Writing and (2) Math, but the PSAT is oddly scored from 320 to 1520.

·      The SAT has three test scores (Reading, Writing and Language, and Math) and two Cross-Test Scores (Analysis in both History/Social Studies and Science), both of which are reported on a scale of 10 to 40.

·      Then, the SAT has 7 Subscores (Command of Evidence, Words in Context, Expression of Ideas, Standard English Conventions, Heart of Algebra, Problem Solving and Data Analysis, and Passport to Advanced Math), all reported on a scale of 1 to 15.

Bottom line, the scoring is completely different from the old SAT and very complicated.  Accordingly, test-takers turn to the percentiles, a statistic that they mistakenly believe that they understand. 

This is why the misleading percentiles are such a big deal.  By issuing inflated percentiles on the PSAT, the College Board is no doubt luring students into taking the redesigned SAT under false hope.  Students anticipate that their projected score will be very competitive for the selective colleges they are considering.  The reality may be, though, that their performance will be far inferior to their expectations.  Some may not even realize their error until they are rejected from their dream college.

Do not go into the March SAT only to be blind-sided by the hidden facts.  Either stick with the ACT to avoid the smoke and mirrors, or seek professional advice. 

Help! My teacher is awful.

Through the years, my students have reaped the benefits of encouraging and engaging teachers whose compassion pervades all that they do.  These teachers enthusiastically impart wisdom and life skills.  Every now and then, however, my students will land in a high school classroom where the teacher-student connection is lacking, to say the least.  Turmoil ensues.  The student complains.  Perhaps more students complain.  A parent complains, and before you know it, a slew of parents have lodged complaints.  Sometimes these complaints are justified.

I believe that teachers worthy of complaint fall into one or more of the following four categories:

1.     The teacher who fails to teach. This typically well-educated teacher wastes class time by sharing personal stories and straying off-topic without conveying fundamental material.

2.     The teacher who is unable to teach. This teacher has been misplaced in a subject matter beyond his or her capabilities or, in contrast, is very intelligent but lacks the capacity to reduce the material to a form comprehensible for the high school class level.

3.     The teacher who is disconnected.  This fortunately rare teacher does not care about the students but likely landed the job by chance or circumstance.  He or she is not intent on mentoring or teaching the students.  This teacher is usually unavailable to students for tutorials.

4.     The teacher who is unenthusiastic.  This teacher is either burnt out from years of teaching or lacks the fervor necessary to motivate and to engage students.

Often paired with one or more of these traits is the teacher’s keen proclivity to issue grades arbitrarily. 

If your high-school-aged child falls into a class with a teacher worthy of complaint, what should you do?

In most cases, you should do very, very little.  Be there for moral support and to listen carefully to ensure that your child’s physical or mental well-being is not at stake.  Refrain from bad mouthing the teacher.  Encourage and guide your child to handle the problem tactfully himself or herself by addressing the teacher directly first or by seeking out a guidance counselor or principal, as necessary.

This is the real world in action.  Do not shelter your high schooler from this experience.  Your child needs to develop the skills necessary to adapt – to be able to interact and to work cooperatively with different, or perhaps difficult, personality types.  In the process, your child will develop resilience and hopefully some very important autodidactic skills. He or she may also gain negotiating and communication skills.

If your assessment of the situation requires your parental intervention, do so professionally and by following the proper chain of command.  Come armed with evidence and a calm demeanor and include your child in the process. 

Situations such as these are infrequently resolved to a parent’s satisfaction, but be reassured that your child is learning a lot from this frustrating experience.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

I can still remember the feeling when I walked out of my last exam.  That feeling ranks right up there among my most unreservedly overjoyed moments . . .truly.  As I reflect back on the angst of years of approaching exams, I have questioned the value of the exam process.  Here are some of my conclusions.

Despite the sheer terror evoked by exams, exams have tremendous value.  They help to sharpen the focus of the entire course.  They connect the dots, forcing the student to interlink the units covered over the semester and to find common themes.  A proper exam is fair and gives the student with a strong work ethic an opportunity to find better understanding and success.  With a student’s successful performance on an exam comes a shared feeling of accomplishment for both the student and his or her teacher. 

Because of the value I have found in the exam process, I question the increasing tradition of schools to offer students exemptions from exams for high grades and strong attendance.  I believe we may be robbing students of the capstone to their semester’s work.  Please don’t tell my students that I feel this way; it will not be a popular sentiment.

During a recent visit to Princeton University, I had an opportunity to discuss midterms with students, which in November, there, had only recently passed.  I have incorporated some student reflections about exam preparation into my list of how to ensure successful prep.  Whether your high school student has exams this week or next month, take note of these tips:

1.     Do not underestimate the power of regular exercise, proper nutrition, and a good night’s sleep!

2.     Ask your teacher about the format of the exam.

3.     Gather and organize well, by subtopics, all materials needed for exam preparation, including all available assessments from the semester.

4.     Prepare a realistic and detailed study schedule and identify what specifically, by subtopic, will be studied during each session.  Schedule breaks at least every 30 to 45 minutes, and spread your studying over at least five days for each course.

5.     Anticipate what your teacher deems most important in each subtopic.

6.     Spend 80% of study time on a combination of what your teacher deems most important and on what is most difficult for you to understand; spend the remaining 20% on the easier content.

7.     Details can be very important, but do not neglect the big picture.  Try to grasp overarching themes and concepts.

8.     Use on-line resources.

9.     Create your own study tools that complement your learning style.

10. Do not be afraid to ask for help, from both your teachers and your peers!

I wish for your child that same feeling of elation that I can evoke in my memories of exam terms gone by.

Grades Are In!

With the conclusion of the first quarter, do you know your student’s grades?  At this point, most parents have logged on to their child’s school parent portal to study first quarter grades and, in some cases, have discovered that their child may need academic support; however, I am amazed at the number of high school students who still do not have access to or do not check grades on a regular basis.

In this digital age, staying abreast of entered grades is essential to strong study habits.  By checking grades periodically, perhaps once a week, a student can understand how a teacher weights assignments and ensure that grades are entered properly.  While grades should never serve as the sole motivation for learning new material, marks can inspire a student to put in a little extra effort to eke out that next threshold score.

Some students can demonstrate the opposite behavior; they are obsessed with every point and calculate the scores they need to earn on the last three assignments to ensure an A for the quarter.  I certainly am not promoting this compulsive behavior.

While cultivating a curious mind and engaging your child in the learning process are the most important goals, parents should also encourage high school students to track their grades independently.  Try not to be the parents who tell their child how he or she performed on that last history test because you read it on line!  Instead, encourage your high school student to log on to the school portal and check grades.  A little extra motivation to study never hurts.

Are Girls Really Doing as Well as Boys in the Classroom?

Why are girls so hesitant to participate in class?  And when they do speak, why do they speak softly, even timidly?  Why do they often fail to assume significant leadership positions in co-ed high schools?  The Huffington Post reported last year that girls are much less likely to be leaders in high school STEM classes than boys.  These disparities sadly persist, as these girls become women in the workplace.

Indeed, women equality in the workplace was a big topic of discussion in the news last week.  Covered by podcasts and news networks alike, we took stock of the modifications that have been made in the workplace and unfortunately of how far we still have to go before we effect real change. 

With the release on Tuesday of Princeton Professor and New America’s CEO and President Anne-Marie Slaughter’s new book, Unfinished Business, workplaces are charged to improve caring issues for men and women alike.  Slaughter believes that this will be integral to our achieving true equality.  A day later, new statistics released by the McKinsey Group under Facebook executive Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In organization tout that parity will not be achieved in upper level management positions in our country for 100 years.  Imagine that: 100 more years of gender inequality!  

While statistics from college admissions may lead us to believe that women are outpacing men in high school, the evidence suggests otherwise.  True, college applications from women outnumber men annually, and some selective colleges have broken the 50-50 balances in favor of women; however, in high school, overshadowed by their male counterparts, girls often underperform and fail to attain leadership status.

First Lady Michelle Obama chimed in last week to suggest that girls often feel self-conscious about opposing boys in high school classrooms.  She urged them to “Beat the boys,” or at least to compete with them.

Consistent with news reports, I have found that girls shut down in the co-ed classroom.  Their responses to questions posed by teachers are often timid and stated as an inquiry, rather than firmly asserted as the boys so frequently do.  We can debate whether this gap derives from teacher bias or from student performance, but we must take action to change the course for the next generation of working women.  We must arm our girls with the confidence to jump in and to compete with the boys.

This is something I have long noted and incorporated in my academic coaching.  I coach students on how to respond in the classroom and on when to volunteer, with special attention to my female students who are often more shy and less confident in class participation.  Take the time to discuss your child’s self-image and the image she projects with her at dinner tonight.  Encourage her to speak up and to do so with conviction.

Take a Break from the Books!

As an academic coach, one of the goals I often champion is achieving balance:  combining just the right amount of academic rigor with family time, physical exercise, artistic or musical pursuits, social engagement, and rest.  Many of our children fail to achieve balance – (heck, many of us fail to do so as well!). Usually this is because they or we become overly obsessed with any one area: enrolling in too many AP classes, binge watching Netflix, playing video games endlessly, partying too much, or becoming consumed by a hobby or sport.  Balance falls by the wayside.

As families struggle to make difficult decisions about how to achieve balance for their children, they prioritize; and one priority families frequently make is to forego participation in an extracurricular activity, such as a school sport, for the sake of academics.  I would caution parents not to jump to this resolution too quickly. 

Time management is a skill that must be learned, and we learn time management by having a tight schedule.  No student learns time management by having two hours of homework to do during six available hours at home in the evening.  Students learn to juggle their busy lives by being under some stress.  Scheduling study time and prioritizing homework assignments become necessary when time is short.  Students become more productive, efficient, and resilient when they hone these skills.  If we shelter our children from all stress, we inhibit their resilience and development of time management skills.

Dedication to extracurricular activities sometimes leads to students’ missing class time.  Athletes depart early from school for away matches or games.  This is an opportunity for students to cultivate independence and to demonstrate responsibility.  Guide your child to communicate with teachers about missed class time; do not assume that the teacher knows of an impending absence.  Instead, encourage your child to communicate by email or in person about an upcoming game and to attend to any missed assessments by scheduling a make-up before the absence occurs.  (And do not do it for them!) 

Students may also need to communicate with peers to obtain class notes and to ensure they stay on track.  They learn the importance of interdependence, that they need each other to be successful. We want our children to practice navigating these waters before they leave home for college or a career.

Bottom line, the message sent to our children when we place academics above all other activities is that perhaps balance is not important after all.  Academics should be high on the priority list, but remember that the old adage holds true, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Encourage your children to embrace and pursue their interests, and enable them to develop the skills they need to seek balance in their lives.

Tracking Assignments in a Digital Age

One of the most common battles I see between students and their parents at the beginning of the school year is the agenda.  Parents purchase expensive, often beautiful calendars so that their children can carefully record every homework assignment.  Their children obediently carry the calendar to and from school, but by week three, they have stopped recording homework assignments on its pristine pages.  The students protest that they have found another way that suits them better to keep up with homework, and a battle ensues. 

Of course, students need to track assignments to ensure that they neither miss deadlines nor fail to complete homework.  Old-fashioned calendars offer certain benefits, including the following two:

1.    Kinesthetic learners are often more likely to remember an assignment that they have physically written down, and 

2.    Helicopter parents have access to a ready checklist to verify their child’s homework completion. 

In this digital age, though, parents should be flexible about the way children track assignments, take notes, and complete work.  In high school, students are learning how to function independently and to develop their own to-do lists and organizational styles.  If your child prefers using an app like ClassManager or myHomework Student Planner to a physical calendar, by all means let him or her do so.  (I recommend My Study Life).  Your child may also prefer taking notes on a laptop.  By typing class notes into Google Docs, your child can access notes at home, even if his or her notebook and laptop are still in the school locker!   Parents may not be familiar with all of the new ways schoolwork can be tracked, organized, and completed.  Let your child take the lead.

 Allow your child to experiment, at the very least until he or she misses an assignment or deadline.  Offer suggestions, but cultivate your child’s independence by relinquishing control of these tasks to your high school-aged child.  You might just learn a better way of organizing!

Does my child need academic coaching?

I am often asked, “What is academic coaching, and how will I know if my child needs it?”

If you answer yes to any of the following six questions, you should consider academic coaching for your child.

1.    Does my child procrastinate?

It’s Sunday, and you ask your child if he or she has any homework.  The reply comes, “No, it’s all done!”  Fast-forward to Tuesday night, and your child is wallowing in assignments and assessment preparations. 

Perhaps instead, your child is taking an extended break after school or sports by catching up on his or her favorite television show, eating dinner, showering, and walking the dog.  By the time your child sits down to attack the night’s homework, the clock strikes nine.  At eleven o’clock, you go to bed, but your child is still toiling away.

Or maybe your child has had a research paper assignment for five weeks with one final week remaining before the deadline, but he or she has yet to nail down a thesis, much less secure resources.

 Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?  Any one of these situations could indicate that your child procrastinates and may benefit from academic coaching.

2.    Are my child’s notebooks and book bag cluttered with unfiled or misfiled papers, or are my child’s papers and books often missing?

A successful student needs to know how to manage not only time but also materials.  A well-ordered notebook, book bag, and desk can help your child be ready to learn.  If your child leaves materials at school or cannot find his or her math homework, he or she may need some help with materials management.  Academic coaching addresses this issue.

3.    Is my child underperforming in more than one class?

You know that your child is smart and can be successful in English class, but every time a test grade is posted, you are surprised that it is not higher.  Even your child thought he or she had performed better.  Moreover, your child’s teacher believes that your child is capable of much more.  And this seems to be a problem not just in English class, but in history class as well!  These grades are important because, after all, this is high school, but at this point, you are not even sure that a tutor can help fix these problems.  Academic coaching may be the answer.  Perhaps your child understands the concepts; he or she simply may not know how to study.

4.    Is homework a constant battle in my home?

Every night it is the same story: you remind your child of the tests looming and the busy weekend ahead, but all your child can do is either assure you that he or she has it under control or completely shrug you off.  You just cannot seem to get through to your child; you offer simple suggestions that would make homework and school preparation so much easier, but your child will not listen to you.  And raising your voice is not helping!

Academic coaching can offer just the right solution:  your academic coach will cultivate your child’s academic independence and enable you to refocus on parenting.

5.    Does my child have test anxiety?

Your child is smart and has an excellent work ethic.  He or she carefully completes every homework assignment and submits it on time.  Your child may even earn high scores on quizzes during a grading period, but when the test comes along, your child freezes.  He or she scores poorly.  Maybe your child has test anxiety or maybe your child does not know how to prepare properly.  Either way, you know that your child’s grades could be even better if your child could become more confident on major assessments. 

Academic coaching will offer your child strategies to build confidence and test-taking techniques to improve performance.

6.    Is my child asking for help, either directly or indirectly?

If your child wants to be successful in school and asks for help, then of course academic coaching may be the right solution.  Perhaps, though, your child is feigning disinterest in school and simply claims not to care; this too could be a cry for academic support.

Securing an academic coach as soon as possible in high school will help your child develop and refine study habits throughout his or her secondary school years and ready him or her for college and beyond. 

To find out more about academic coaching, call Arbor Road Academy today for a free consultation.

The Redesigned SAT

If you are a rising junior, then you need to consider your standardized testing plans for the year.  Will you plan to take the ACT, the old SAT, and/or the redesigned SAT?  This is a multi-layered and critical question that requires careful, individualized consideration.  If you need help figuring out your plan of attack, I recommend a consultation to assess your strengths and weaknesses and to determine which test(s) is/are best for you.  The sooner you know your testing plans, the sooner you can earnestly begin your preparations.  One thing is obvious:  with the redesigned SAT launching in March 2016 and its PSAT launching in October 2015, you need clear guidance now more than ever.