Spanning the Bridge

           This month I decided to take up the card game bridge.  Truth be told, I have known the basics of bridge for quite some time.  With a mom who made a regular social occasion of the game and a dad who was a Life Master, I frequently observed quietly from the sidelines the curious auctioning to secure a bridge contract, the exposure of the “dummy” hand, the unfolding tricks, and the tallying of the score.

            In eighth grade, my math teacher taught me to count points and the fundamentals of bidding, but then my skills atrophied, as I found it difficult, not surprisingly, to find friends with whom to practice.  My knowledgeable parents likely did not want to take on tutoring their own child. Perhaps they lacked the patience or the initiative, or maybe they thought my pubescent eye-rolling would annoy them to no end. Maybe I never even asked for their help.

            Don’t parents secure a tutor or academic coach for the same reasons?  While parents may excel in math, in organizational skills, in a sport, or even in bridge, they struggle to share these skills with their own children, at least in terms that are well-received.  Our children often do not ask for help either. Sometimes, as parents, anxious to cultivate competency, we choose to forego unnecessary arguments in favor of a neutral third-party.

            By definition, a bridge is a structure enabling passage over a chasm or other obstacle. The coincidence is not lost on me.   While I resume my interest in the game of bridge, I realize that I have been serving as a bridge in my daily work, assisting students to overcome challenging pathways and maybe even preserving some parent-child relationships in the process. Not too long ago, a parent conveyed the essence of this message to me: “I think I can talk till I'm blue, and all my children hear is 'blah, blah, blah,' but they truly respect you, and both seem more focused on their work.”

            Securing a tutor or coach is not an admission of weakness.  Instead, it is a recognition that we need others to help us navigate the difficult road of parenting, of learning, and of life.  Sometimes too much self-reliance can stifle growth and opportunities.

            I feel grateful not only for a terrific bridge teacher, Nancy Fitzgerald, but also for the opportunity to admit that I need the structure, guidance, and knowledge a tutor or coach can provide.  Bridge is complicated, and I certainly can use help.  Maybe I should seek some tips and pointers from my mom while I still can, too!

Teaching Your Children Tenacity

Do you remember about twelve or more years ago when a popular holiday gift item was TableTopics, a plastic cube, of various iterations, that could be used to prompt conversations at a party or dinner table?  Perhaps its popularity continues to this day, but I remember when our family received multiple versions of TableTopics at the holidays.  We worked through maybe a quarter of the cards.  We never made it part of our dinner routine, but the idea was and still is a good one.

When my children were young enough to participate in a nightly family dinner (I use the term nightly loosely because of many dinnertime interruptions in the form of tennis matches, track meets, swim practices, and more), I intentionally saved topics worthy of family discussion for dinnertime, with a plan to have my children consider issues of morality, life lessons, or hot political topics.

This month I propose a table topic worthy of discussion at your table:  New Year's Resolutions. It is not too late to embrace this age-old tradition; there is still time to set goals for the year ahead.

We understand the importance of goal-setting, and we need to pass along our appreciation of goal-setting to our children, particularly in our highly distracted, often unfocused world.  Bill Copeland received credit for a goal-setting quote that I frequently share with my students:  "The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score."  That quote seems to grab my student athletes.

For goals and, for that matter, for New Year's resolutions to be fully effective, they need to be measurable, attainable, and disclosable.  If a goal is not measurable, then we will never be able to celebrate reaching it.  Unrealistic goals are demoralizing and will be abandoned within weeks; and, if we do not disclose our goals by writing them down and by sharing them with our families, then we will not be accountable for them.

That's why New Year's resolutions make such good fodder for dinner conversation.  This table topic gives your children and you an opportunity to make public, to disclose, your goals for the year ahead.

I recommend that my students set goals in four categories:  organizational, educational, physical, and personal.

I plan to organize one space in my house each week so that closet and cabinet doors and drawers may be opened without personal endangerment.  I plan to read twenty books this year (Thank you Goodreads for prompting me to set and to disclose this goal).  I want to lose my holiday weight gain by February 1, which may be my most difficult goal during these frigid winter days; and my personal goal is just that - personal - for my family alone to know.

What are your goals this year?  And, perhaps equally important, what are the goals of your children?  Remember that New Year's resolutions can help you teach your children another admirable character trait:  tenacity.  May you and your children have the tenacity to accomplish your goals in 2018.

The Path to Success and Its Slippery Slope

This month, I am asking parents to consider, “How important is your child’s success? Is it important enough to undermine your own personal value system or to erode your child’s ability to distinguish between right and wrong?”  I am beginning to see an unacceptable progression. A series of news articles over the last few months on the topic of teenager anxiety made me realize that the pressures our children endure are linked to increasingly immoral behavior. 

You, too, have either read the articles or are familiar with the highly-publicized problem.  Our children face undeniable stress, and that stress comes from how we, as a society, define success for a high school student.  Many high school students today face expectations from their family, their community, and/or themselves to

·      Take an increasingly rigorous course load,

·      Earn perfect, or near-perfect, grades,

·      Assume leadership of an organization,

·      Participate in a diverse array of extracurricular activities,

·      Attain strong standardized test scores,

·      Matriculate to an “excellent” college,

·      Choose the “right” major, and

·      Secure a job that will ensure self-sufficiency.

No one can refute the connection between our own overly ambitious standards and any resulting mental instability of our children.  Some children, and perhaps even some parents, will not be able to withstand the pressure.  In many ways, the process is equivalent to the “survival of the fittest,” as college dropout rates continue to soar.

I have not read in these teenage anxiety articles, although evident to me, about the link between our children’s moral degradation and the quest for elusive success, yet I witness that degradation with increasing frequency and sadly see evidence of cultural tolerance.

To cope with the pressure, high school students skip school or class when unprepared for an assessment.  Usually due to poor planning but often accompanied with a conflict the night before the assessment, athletic or otherwise, unexcused students skip school or class to avoid a test.

To maintain perfect or strong attendance, presumably in order to minimize required exams, students misrepresent the reasons for absences.

Cheating appears to be escalating as well.  Students are often savvier about technology than their teachers and deftly use that know-how to their advantage.  They also may exploit accommodations, skillfully explore the internet, ignore take-home test constraints, or otherwise deceive teachers.  Where is the line between right and wrong crossed? Are parents at times sitting idly, ignoring indications of immoral decision-making? Are parents going even further at times, aiding and abetting their children’s pursuit of “success?”

Navigating these parental waters is by no means easy, and I am not sitting in judgment, but I hope that by unveiling what I deem to be a very concerning trend, I will at least make parents question each step.  As parents, our paramount responsibility is to raise grounded children who move through life with a moral compass and a strong sense of fairness.  One look at the daily headlines underscores the importance of ensuring our children’s strong personal values.

Parents can foster their children’s emotional health and security by creating an environment where they feel safe to fail – where a poor performance on one assessment due to inadequate preparation becomes a learning lesson for the next one, and where students may indeed have to take a final exam in lieu of securing the requisite attendance and in lieu of spreading contagions throughout the school.

The success we have targeted as a society is in fact elusive.  True happiness and reward comes not from ticking off the above list but instead from a life well-lived. 

Scheduling Standardized Testing

When should your child take his or her first SAT or ACT?  This month’s blog is technical, so beware; however, its content is critically important.  If your child is not yet facing standardized testing, consider clipping this article for later consumption.

When students enter the tenth or eleventh grade, many parents feel the urge to rush into standardized testing. Parents, anxious to get a “benchmark score” on the SAT or ACT that will perhaps guide the college selection process, register their children for test dates, often with little understanding of the stakes or of the importance of timing.  Here are a few reasons to give parents and students pause.

Take Practice Tests

Parents and their children can get that benchmark score by simulating standardized-testing conditions and administering an ACT and/or SAT either at home or at Arbor Road Academy.  I recommend that all students practice before their first official test days with a full-length, timed test.  Using actual answer sheets is critically important as well. Scoring the test is a little tedious, and fully understanding the score probably will require some professional guidance, but taking a full-length, timed practice test for both the SAT and the ACT yields several benefits.

·      Protect Your Child’s Score Record

First, the parents and children obtain the desired benchmark score without the risk of a low score or low sub-score blemishing the students’ record.  Many colleges require that applicants send all their posted scores.  Parents and children sometimes misunderstand that they do not always get to choose which scores they send to colleges.  Indeed, even when invoking score choice by sending the student’s highest scores only, the entire report from the testing day is sent to the college, not just a selected subsection score.  While parents can consult the up-to-date list on College Board’s website (https://collegereadiness.collegeboard.org/pdf/sat-score-use-practices-participating-institutions.pdf) to consider which schools require all scores to be sent (the University of South Carolina, the University of North Carolina – Charlotte, the University of Pennsylvania, Georgetown, and Yale, to name a few), this list changes from year-to-year, so what you read when your child is in the tenth grade may change by the time he or she is a senior.

·      Find the “Best” Test for your Child to Save Money and Time

Second, a comparative analysis of the two benchmark scores can help the student understand for which test he or she is better suited.  If a student clearly performs better on one test than the other, the parent can save a lot of money and the student can save a lot of time by singularly focusing on that test. 

Standardized testing is a big dollar industry.  The costs of registering for, preparing for, and sending scores for each test mounts quickly.  If you can narrow your focus, as appropriate, to just one test, you can save a tremendous amount of money.

Testing also consumes a lot of time, between prep, which is a necessity, and the testing day itself.  While students attempt to build impressive records of extracurricular activities and community service, time frequently becomes even more precious than money.

Admittedly, often there is no clear front-runner for a student in terms of his or her performance on the ACT versus the SAT, but practice test results can be meaningful indicators of directed prep as well.  Perhaps the ACT science section is your child’s nemesis, or the SAT reading comprehension section needs a boost; then, targeted prep yields the highest cost-benefit payoff.

Identify When Your Child Will Peak

Usually, students achieve their peak scores during the spring semester of their junior year and the fall semester of their senior year.  By early spring in eleventh grade, depending on math placement, students should have been exposed to most of the math concepts covered on the SAT and the ACT.  Parents assume, though, that if the student is on an accelerated math track, then beginning standardized testing earlier will be beneficial; after all, the critical math content will be more proximal.  The problem with this reasoning is that most students – almost all – have not matured to the point of readiness to synthesize the information and to perform optimally.

Recognized exceptions to the spring of the junior year start date are (1) when students show potential to post a near-perfect score as a sophomore, because such a score makes a significant statement on a college application, and (2) when students are seriously targeted for NCAA-Division I recruiting.

Consider Whether to Register for the Essay

The essay for the ACT and the SAT is optional, available to students for an additional fee and, of course, adding to the length of the test.  Most parents and students do not realize, unless they have received professional guidance, that the essay is not broadly required or even recommended by colleges, a change that has occurred over the last decade.  Students unknowingly register for either the SAT or ACT with the essay only to receive a score report that is tainted by a low essay score.  The essays for each test are completely different and require special preparation.  Both the SAT and ACT have come under some fire in recent year for the scoring of their essays:    http://www.chronicle.com/article/Let-s-Ax-the-SAT-Essay/235619 and https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2016/02/12/act-essay-scores-are-inexplicably-low-causing-uproar-among-college-bound-students/?utm_term=.9787e2f35997.  Accordingly, parents should carefully consider, in conjunction with a college counselor, whether registering for the essay is prudent.

Avoid Sending Free Score Reports

When registering for the SAT and ACT, parents and their children have the option to send free reports to four colleges.  They should resist the urge to do so in almost all circumstances.  Although this option may appear to save the family money, it strips the applicant of the opportunity to examine score reports carefully and to consider which scores he or she plans to send and to which colleges.  Applicants should never assume that all colleges should receive the same testing reports; this decision also must be weighed, preferably in consultation with a college counselor.  Families can, though, take advantage of the “free” option during the senior year when students have already applied to a college requiring the submission of all scores.

The standardized testing world is overwhelming and complex.  Most families would benefit from professional guidance and prep to ease the stress that accompanies this process.  Errors in the decision-making process can be costly, so proceed deliberately and cautiously.

Building Confidence

         One predictor of success in the classroom is confidence.  Instilling confidence in children is tricky for parents because often a student’s confidence is an extension of his or her personality.  While environmental factors impact confidence, sparking a dramatic improvement in a high school student’s comfort level with approaching a teacher, participating in class, or engaging in new social situations is virtually impossible in the short-term.

         Some of us, including our children, question our own worth. We often deem ourselves not smart enough, not popular enough, and not pretty enough.  Magazines and social media heighten our insecurities, as we find ourselves drawing comparisons between our own abilities and looks and those we observe in idols, models, or peers.

         This past week, I listened to a podcast, Oprah’s Supersoul Conversations, about the power of “I Am:”  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/oprahs-supersoul-conversations/id1264843400?mt=2  The message resonated:  We should each individually look in the mirror and assert, “I am beautiful” or “I am smart” or “I am [whatever I dream to be].” Simply by putting our hopes and dreams out in the universe, the powers that be, perhaps God, will respond in turn and fulfill our affirmative statements.  For example, we will be beautiful, as our spirit shines through.  If, instead, we constantly say negative things about ourselves – I am going to fail this test; I am bad at math; I can’t write; or I stink at standardized tests – we could be self-prophesizing exactly what we hope to avoid.  At the very least, we are allowing our insecurities to take hold.

         I believe that there is power in the words “I Am.”  I often find myself chastising students for hyper-focusing on their weaknesses, for exaggerating their shortcomings, and for failing to embrace their many strengths.  I believe that this is where we, as parents, can best impact our children’s confidence.  Do not tolerate self-deprecating statements, smother your children with compliments, and require your children to acknowledge their gifts out loud and often. 

         I know that this is easier said than done, particularly for an introvert.  This summer, I traveled to New York City with my family and had the opportunity to see an off-Broadway magic experience called In and Of Itself.  The show featuring Derek Delgaudio was directed by Frank Oz and produced by Neil Patrick Harris.  Because I am married to a magician, I have seen a lot of magic shows, but I am sure I will never forget this one.  Upon entry, we were faced with a wall and were each asked to pick one card, entitled “I Am.”  I was confronted with thousands of cards, endless choices.  Would I label myself literally, as a teacher, a mother, a lawyer, a wife?  Would I choose to label myself figuratively, as a searcher, a problem solver, a pacifist?  Or would I cower from the power of the moment, afraid to face my own identity, and choose something silly – a handful, a nightmare, or the last to know?  I took a long time to decide and ultimately did not push myself to embrace the moment and to benefit from the power of “I Am” – I chose something silly.

         I now realize that confidence is something that can be gained through practice.  While it may take a while to grow, your child’s confidence is ultimately critical to his or her success in the classroom and beyond.  I believe that confidence may begin with “I Am.”

Summer Assignments . . . Ugh!

Your children cannot deny their summer assignments any longer.  August is upon us.  School starts in a matter of weeks.

The lack of a regular schedule during the summer months often leads to fatigue, and unfortunately that fatigue has never been worse than during the “dog days of summer,” in the month of August.  Fall sports’ practices ramp up - some coaches scheduling practice twice a day. With players “expected” to participate in grueling summer practices, your teens may be weary on the first day of school. 

Summer assignment deadlines loom, with many classes’ assigning summer reading, along with annotations and projects, and summer math packets

To add to this stress, the College Board has introduced a summer testing date at the end of the month, but this “convenience” also creates anxiety and additional prep deadlines during the month of August.

Parents have rarely faced a more daunting challenge than trying to get their teens to complete work now, in August.  Moreover, the temptation for your children to procrastinate has never been higher.

Does this sound like your house?

“Don’t worry, Mom, I have five days to finish my summer reading book.  I will read 75 pages a day – No problem!”

Fast forward two days . . .

“Stop nagging, Mom, I have plenty of time.  I just need to read 125 pages each day.  Totally doable.”

Nip this problem in the bud.  While sink-or-swim parenting is usually my guidepost, you may want to exert a little initiative now to avert a crisis the night(s) before the first day of school.

1.    Set goals.  Goals will facilitate the realistic completion of assigned tasks and prep work.  A reasonable deadline for the completion of all assigned summer work would be the Friday before the first day of class.

2.   Keep a daily reminder list. Using that reminder list conveniently available on their IPhones will make your children more productive.

3.   Chunk large assignments. There is nothing wrong with calculating a daily or weekly page goal for summer reading, but those mini-goals ideally need to be set weeks before the first day of school and heeded.  The same is true for summer math packets.  By chunking those scary-big assignments into bite-size pieces, they become much more manageable.

4.   Prioritize challenges.  If math is your child’s weakness, then have your child get math done first.

5.   Set aside dedicated work time. No electronics and no distractions should be allowed during that daily hour or so of invested time to summer assignments.  A strict observance of the no-distraction rule, while difficult to enforce at first, will lead to higher productivity, faster assignment completion, and ultimate happiness (and relief) for your children (and for you).

Admittedly, my suggestions are not rocket science, but ignoring the parental involvement required here is probably also a form of procrastination.  As parents, we need to teach our children the values of goal-setting and of to-do lists.  Perhaps we need to pick up the mirror and take a hard look at our own habits, too. 

Play.

This week, The Atlantic magazine released an article entitled, “How Goofing Off Helps Kids Learn,” an apt piece to publish during the month of July:  https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2017/07/goofing-off-is-good/533427/  The article’s author, Lea Waters, underscores the value of goofing off, which, Waters asserts, serves to enhance our children’s focus and to improve brain processing, and she cites several scientific studies to support her position. I use the word "play," but Waters might disapprove, as she is careful to distinguish personal pursuits, termed “good goofing off,” from activities that pull our children into the external world, such as texting or chatting with friends.

Of course, play is not just reserved for the summer months but is an important source of learning during all twelve months of the year.  As a mom, I know this to be true.  I have witnessed it in my own children.

My oldest son picks up a yo-yo when he needs a break and literally loses himself in the spinning and intricate tricks.  After years of practice, he is not focused on the motions and techniques; he is literally hitting the “refresh” button, recharging his batteries.  While his yo-yo spins – on and off its string – he is allowing thoughts and ideas to take shape in his mind.  Although he is “playing,” he most definitely is “thinking.”

My younger son spends his downtime by seeking out physical exercise, often in the form of a run or a bike ride, and by taking and editing photos.  These pursuits are fun for him, but they too serve to enhance his classroom learning and to afford him a needed escape from his work.  While he may not always be “thinking” about classwork during his playtime, he is often engaged in contemplating his goals or in seeking an understanding of the world around him.

Teenagers and adults generally can only sustain attention for 20 minutes, as Waters explains.  When your child disappears in his or her room for four hours to complete homework, study breaks will and should occur.  My husband and I always knew when our oldest son was taking a study break, because we would hear his yo-yo crash on the hardwood floor in his room. Once we got beyond our concerns that he would break a window, we gained an understanding of the critical importance of his pastime.

Encourage your children to play all year long, and if you are interested, check out this video of my children playing:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwSe7E6t5BY

Are You Ready for the Summer?

Aah . . . summer.  After nine long months of school, we are finally free - no looming projects, no tests, no grades, and certainly less stress. (I know; I know . . . they were never our projects, tests, grades, or stress, but didn’t they often feel that way?)  Despite higher temperatures, summer has a light and breezy, more relaxed feel that we all embrace, if only temporarily.

The summertime, though, in my opinion, is when we, as parents, must step up and guide our children.  On the journey to becoming independent thinkers, our children should not squander the summer months.  I am not suggesting that the real school work continue without interruption, but the learning absolutely should continue.

I am dedicating this month’s blog to our parents with a guide for what, in my opinion, you should encourage and discourage in the few months ahead.  While these are not hard and fast rules – everyone should be allowed to indulge a little bit – I do recommend that they be followed over 80% of the time.

DO

·      Encourage your children to explore an interest.  One of my biggest pet peeves is that our bright children often cannot articulate a singular personal interest.  They may say, “I love soccer,” but they usually do not dedicate their independent, personally-directed time to reading about soccer, practicing soccer skills, or watching the World Cup.  If your child responds with a perplexed expression to the simple inquiry “What do you like to do in your spare time?” or replies with “I like to hang out with friends, play video games, or watch Netflix,” here are a few ideas to dangle before them:  follow politics and develop personal stances on hotly-debated issues; study and prepare for the total solar eclipse that will occur in August; purchase a DIY project or craft book and attack those of the most interest; or learn to play a new instrument with the help of YouTube.

·      Encourage your children to read, read, read.  Do not worry too much about what they are reading, as long as they are reading.

DON’T

·      Allow them to sleep in every morning or keep unhealthy, irregular sleeping patterns.

·      Allow them to binge on Netflix to the extreme.

·      Allow them to isolate themselves.  Encourage them instead to get out and to form relationships with friends, grandparents, and mentors.

·      Allow them to be a sluggard.  The sun will often be shining, so encourage daily exercise, outside whenever possible.

·      Ignore healthy eating habits.  Instead, explore food interests and cooking together.

·      Avoid a schedule, even if it is relatively loose and flexible.

·      Allow them to say, “I am bored.”  Be at the ready for remedies to this complaint, including chores.

In short, teach your children that the exciting part of summer is not that they are free from all responsibility but that they are free to explore themselves and the world around them.  Embrace this opportunity.

The Final Stretch

We have reached the end of the academic school year.  Classes are winding down, exam review guides have been distributed, and spring fever has emerged, yet there is still important work to do.  With the final exam period – the finish line – in sight, students must dig deep within themselves, stay the course, and end robustly. 

As a parent, your job is clear:  You must set the tone.  Although most parents anticipate the end of school just as anxiously as their children do, children need their parents to maintain structure at home and to keep the home running on a regular schedule.  Routine – knowing what to expect day in and day out – can help students maintain the proper frame of mind to engage in intense studying and to perform optimally.

In addition to providing structure, parents should consider promoting my ten suggestions for students during exams:

1.   Create a realistic and detailed study schedule and stick to it.

2.   Prioritize coursework where your final or semester grade is “on the bubble,” hovering between grades.

3.   Rely heavily on teacher study guides for exam preparations.  If your teacher does not distribute a study guide, use the teacher’s syllabus or your textbook to identify focus areas and to schedule your review time.

4.   Consider the test maker’s perspective during preparations.  What concepts will be emphasized?

5.   For math-based coursework, work and rework problems.  You cannot learn math by reviewing someone else’s work, or even your own prior work, alone.

6.   Outline your responses to anticipated essay questions.  Include thesis statements, topic sentences, and supportive details.

7.   Maintain a consistent sleeping pattern.

8.   Keep a healthy diet.

9.   Take time to exercise which is critical to maintaining energy levels.

10.Avoid video games, your phone, and social media.

If your child can adhere to these ten steps and if your household can adopt a disciplined, serious tone about exams, your child will find success during final exams – consolidating school lessons to long-term memory and eking out the points needed to secure that higher grade.

Remember that, according to Thomas Edison, “[o]pportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks a lot like work.”  Don’t let your child miss this opportunity!

Food for Thought for Rising Juniors

With the end of the sophomore year in sight, now is the time to plan for the all-important junior year.  No doubt, its arrival approaches with trepidation.  Coursework escalates, pressure builds, college considerations loom, and standardized testing nears. You may feel that your son or daughter has just begun high school – after all, he or she has yet to bank two years and may not have hit that final major growth spurt – but the junior year awaits. 

In my experience from working with high school students and their parents, I have heard expressed surprise about the following pieces of the high school puzzle.  Parents and their children often wish that they had known more about these important choices earlier.

1.      Consider whether to hire a college counselor outside of your child’s high school college counselor.

 College counselors often charge a flat fee for the full array of services offered, which includes, among many other things, guidance in course selection, résumé-building, appropriate college considerations, financial aid, testing, recommendation letters, applications, and essay-writing.  Timing can be of the essence.  Early preparation leads ultimately to stronger applications. 

As you consider whether hiring an outside college counselor is something your family should pursue, weigh the following:

·      How knowledgeable are you about the process?  If your knowledge is based on the fact that you applied to colleges many years ago, you need help!

·      What is the college counselor-to-student ratio at your child’s school?  Some school counselors are so overburdened that they only have time to attend to the essentials, and much of the guidance piece may fall to the curb.

·      What type of college will your child pursue?  If your child will likely seek admission to a highly selective college, more support may be desirable.

·      How much is your family willing to invest in the process?  College counselors can be expensive, so striking the right economic balance, deciding how and when to use them, is advised.

Bottom line, if you want to learn more, I encourage a consultation with a college counselor now as you weigh the merits of this important decision. (Referrals available upon request.)

2.     Set a Reasonable but High Bar as Your Child Selects Classes for Next Year.

 Generally, your child should be reaching his or her academic stride at the onset of the junior year.  In the early high school years – as freshmen and sophomores – students often face an adjustment period.  They may make a misstep in a class, perhaps in many classes, as they struggle to get their footing.  Poor grades may accrue, or, worse, other blemishes may appear on their high school transcripts.  All is not lost.  If maturity sets in, demonstrating growth and improvement can make a huge statement. 

Whether your child has struggled during the first two years of high school or not, the rigor in coursework during his or her junior year matters.  Appropriate progression is desired, not only to earn admission to most colleges but also, and more importantly, to instill a strong work ethic.  If your child was successful in honors English during the ninth and tenth grade years, moving on to AP English Language and Composition may be an appropriate and needed step up in rigor.  Success in college and in life, in general, often hinges on a person’s diligence – his or her willingness to work hard.  Setting a reasonable but high bar for your child will help to instill this virtue.

3.     Consider a standardized testing schedule now.

 Most students take the SAT or the ACT during their junior year.  Taking these tests without proper preparation is inadvisable.  Many colleges require that students submit all test scores when applying, so “getting a baseline score” often is not in your child’s best interests, unless, of course, it is done so privately, through practice.  Planning testing dates and considering preparation in advance is essential.

Your child and your family likely have a busy schedule.  While the SAT and the ACT offer abundant test dates, fitting those dates into your family calendar requires prioritizing.  Then, working backwards a few months, at least, to ensure time for adequate preparation is warranted. (Please contact me if you are interested in test prep.)

Students considering college engineering programs or highly selective universities may need to schedule SAT Subject Tests as well.  Deliberating which subject tests to take and when to take them is a vital, sometimes overlooked, piece of the puzzle.  These test day options are limited, and often students are best served to take these at the conclusion of the academic year.

4.     Schedule College Visit Days Early.

Parents are often surprised to learn that campus tours and information sessions are filled to capacity during high school breaks and that many colleges do not offer weekend tours or admissions sessions.  If you know now, as you child finishes his or her sophomore year, that your child will want to tour a particular college next year, plan ahead.  Decide when your family may have the opportunity to conduct this critical due diligence and book your information sessions and tours early, which does not necessarily mean that you should accelerate your visit, only your planning.  Observing a university in person and evaluating how well it meets your child’s desires and needs is critical to the applications and admissions decisions to follow.  Colleges track school visitations and log this information as reflective of a student’s demonstrated interest, so ensuring that this box is checked is important in many more ways than one. 

Should you have questions about these critical decisions or any others that your high school student faces, feel free to contact me for more information.  I am happy to guide you, based on your child’s personal record, and to refer you to a college counselor.  I also offer test prep, with summer and fall enrollments options available next month. 

Tackling School Absences

Several years ago, about this time of year, my son laid in bed and told me that he just did not feel well enough to go to school that day.  I eyed him suspiciously and asked him what was wrong.  He had no fever; he was not flushed or particularly congested.  This was my child who could find a million and one things he would rather do than go to school. 

His brother chimed in as we now both knowingly examined him and reflected on his grade school days when he would somehow outsmart me and stay home from school, ultimately only to catch up on his preferred projects.  We warned him of the test he would miss that day, of the workload that would pile up, and of the sports practice he would forfeit, but my son was not to be swayed.  He simply complained that he did not have the energy to get out of bed and announced that he was not going to school.

The next day he was diagnosed with mono.  It was not my finest parenting moment.  He spent the next six weeks trying to regain his strength and his footing in school.

Early 2017 seems fraught with illness.  Classes have been emptied and even cancelled due to widespread viruses. Accordingly, I have been reminded of how difficult it is as a parent and as a student to navigate school absences, whether planned or unexpected.  Here are a few pointers.

1.    Prioritize School

Send a message to your child daily that school is important.  Schedule well visits before or after school or during school breaks.  Try to avoid taking your child out of school for any reason but illness and certainly do not do so for an everyday outing, such as lunch or shopping. 

Parent wisely.  Do not be a pushover, especially if you know your child fears a test or is susceptible to malingering; however, you may want to keep my own misstep in the back of your mind, too! 

2.   Communicate

Whether a planned or unexpected absence, courtesy demands that a student communicate with his or her teachers.  A quick email or visit to warn a teacher of an impending absence or to notify him or her of an illness demonstrates respect not only for the teacher but also for the classwork. It sends a message that the student values both.  A teacher is much more apt to accommodate a student’s needs when the student readily shares when and why he or she is missing class and attempts to minimize absences.

3.    Create a Schedule for Make-Up Work

Make-up schedules can and should be created jointly between the teacher and the student, especially when absences extend to multiple days.  Some students tend to rush to make up missed assessments, so they can more quickly feel “caught-up” and resume their place among fellow students.  Others dawdle and only make-up work when the teacher demands they do so.  Instead, a student would be best served to negotiate a make-up schedule where he or she anticipates and completes work in advance, if possible, and where the student balances the make-up work across missed classes on a manageable schedule that both minimizes the time required to make up work and acknowledges the equities of all involved parties, including classmates, who may be awaiting test grades and the opportunity to review assessments.

Teachers who give a student the latitude simply to make up work by the end of the quarter are, in my opinion, doing the student and others a huge injustice.  No one benefits by catering to limitless procrastination. On the other hand, promptly entering a zero in the student’s gradebook for every missed assignment can create unnecessary anxiety and resentment.  Instead, seek a balance of expediency and fairness that meets the needs of the student, the class, and the teacher.

There is a correlation between chronic absenteeism and school success, so these can be dangerous parenting waters.  Proceed with caution, and always beware the slippery slope that could follow when you indulge your child’s plea to miss class.  Indeed, if I were to face that morning with my son again, even with the benefit of hindsight, I probably would respond in exactly same way.

"My Child Does Not Know How to Study"

Parents who call me seeking academic coaching often begin, “My child is very bright, but he [or she] just does not know how to study.”   Learning how to study is one of the end goals for high school students, a critical skill that predicts success not only in college but also in life. 

I have developed the following four-pronged test, so you can measure your child’s studying proficiency and assess whether he or she would benefit from intervention. 

1.    How well does my child manage his or her materials?

Students who struggle with knowing how to study are often disorganized.  Their backpacks contain an unwieldy mound of crumpled papers from every one of their core classes.  If they have a notebook or binder, it is stuffed with papers either in the front pocket or its inside pages.

Is your child an organizational guru, a slightly organized student (whose papers are at least contained), or a walking disaster?

With a fresh semester upon us, now is the time to comb through these papers.  Help your child start the semester with a clean three-ringed binder for every class.  In my opinion, there is no substitute for a sturdy three-ringed binder, which enables students to order and re-order papers, chronologically and by topic, and ensures ready-access to the critical papers needed to prepare for the next assessment. Students cannot study well for a test when they cannot locate the papers that they need.  Other organizational methods, such as folders and spiral notebooks, pale in comparison with the irreplaceable three-ringed binder.

2.    How is my child’s work ethic?

Bottom line, a student must want to perform well in school.  Almost every student will tell you that he or she wants to earn good grades, but many want the good grades with no investment of time. 

How motivated is your child to find success:  motivated enough to save his or her favorite television show until the weekend, to turn off his or her cell phone during study sessions, to complete more math problems than assigned, and to seek answers to questions about a subject outside of the classroom?

And if you think I am being absurd, I am not.  I know these children, they do exist, and they are not freaks of nature; however, it is true that some children are naturally more motivated than others.

As parents, we must instill and cultivate a strong work ethic by modelling one and by constantly reminding our children that school work must be prioritized.

3.    Does your child take meaningful, legible, dated class notes?

Many students can navigate middle school without exerting much effort.  Teachers often are guilty of spoon-feeding students by offering review sheets that summarize the critical points on a topic and then by requiring the students to regurgitate this information in a similar format on the test.  This widespread approach to testing has produced an entire generation of students whose study skills have atrophied from such coddling.  Students step into my office daily without notes from class lectures unless their teacher has warned, “Write this down!”

Peruse your child’s notebooks and ask, how much of class lectures is he or she recording, and do these notes tell a meaningful story and contain concrete lessons?

Our children need to develop an acuity for identifying important information, information worthy of recall.  (This rings true not only for the classroom but also for the media-frenzied world in which we live). Students should review notes daily, particularly in classes where they struggle, to maximize retention.  Strong notetaking skills are often among the final study skills students acquire.

4.    Does your child make good use of the internet?

Finally, our children have access to a world of information at their fingertips.  Educational websites, instructive videos, and study tools abound.  A student can no longer simply complain that he or she has a “bad teacher” and then renounce all responsibility. There are simply too many free alternatives readily available, but is your child accessing them?  Perhaps a review of your child’s internet history will tell the story.

Survey your child’s performance in each of these four areas, and you will know whether your child knows how to study or perhaps whether your child needs help. 

The Write Stuff

My high school students and their parents often ask me, as their academic coach, about choosing classes.  As they contemplate whether to enroll in honors and AP classes, they want input about which courses will “read” well on college applications.  While I always encourage parents to listen to their child, to allow their child’s interests to guide their choices, and to consult their college counselor, I also emphasize that there is no more important college readiness course than a rigorous English class, and, in my opinion, that is true for one primary reason:  writing.

The ability to write well is arguably the most important college readiness marker.  Despite growing global computerization, our students are still required to communicate via writing daily: in social media through emails, posts, texts, and blogs and in school through essays, assessments, and papers.  While the hand-written letter or thank you note may largely be a thing of the past, the ability to compose a well-structured, articulate piece distinguishes a middling student from an exceptional one.

Every selective college of which I am aware prioritizes a strong background in writing instruction.  Even engineering schools want to admit students who write well; therefore, not surprisingly, these colleges prefer to find the successful completion of AP English, or its equivalent, on an applicant’s transcript.  Of course, not every student is prepared to enroll in the most rigorous English class available at his or her high school, but every student who seeks an outstanding college curriculum should aspire to improve his or her writing craft and should seek to demonstrate this interest.

 Which skills does your child need to demonstrate to ensure college readiness?

1.    A growing facility with grammar and vocabulary;

2.   An understanding of structure and how to build a logical argument; and

3.   A developing voice.

How can you help your child improve his or her writing? 

1.   Review the rubric and prompt of any writing assignment with your child to ensure that your child has a planned thesis that both answers the question asked and meets the expectations of the assignment.  One of the most frequent mistakes I see among my students is the failure to answer the question posed or the failure to fulfill the assignment’s requirements.

2.   Insist that your child prepare an outline.  My students often want to dismiss outlining as a step that merely slows them down.  To the contrary, good writing requires good planning.

3.   Advise your child to seek feedback, preferably from his or her target audience but minimally from an informed source.  High school English teachers understandably do not have the time to pre-read every student’s work, but their feedback before writing begins can be extremely instrumental. In my experience, peer edits should be considered and followed with extreme caution.

4.   Encourage your child to write a first draft and then have him or her read that draft out loud, slowly, to himself or herself.  Ask your child to evaluate whether the writing answers the prompt, meets the rubric’s expectations, and flows.

5.   Then, as the parent, get out of the way! In most cases, parents should only guide their children in the process above – not in the writing. Your child needs to develop his or her own voice and to learn from mistakes.  Your child is better served, in almost all cases, to get further feedback from school mentors.  The best English instruction often incorporates the opportunity to rewrite and to learn from drafting missteps.

6.   Otherwise, as a parent, encourage reading, for a love of reading cultivates a love of writing; and, perhaps needless to say, encourage writing for pleasure.

With the holidays arriving next week, should you need a last-minute gift for your child, consider either a journal (fun and beautiful options abound) or a good writing guide (I recommend How to Write Anything:  A Complete Guide by Laura Brown).

Happy holidays!  Happy writing!

Gratitude, Attitude, and Success

Earlier this fall, a friend recommended that I watch a TED Talk by Shawn Achor, an advocate for positive psychology.  His funny, inspiring presentation contains shrewd advice, particularly for students and their parents.  Achor’s theme is that gratitude and positivity can vastly improve our probabilities for personal success.  I believe that Achor is exactly right, and what better time to embrace his sentiments than at Thanksgiving.

Readiness to learn, confidence, gratitude, and optimism are directly related to student success.  As an academic coach, I have long recommended that my students engage in regular exercise because, in my experience, exercise opens the mind to embrace new information and improves mental stamina.  I coach my students to speak with authority in the classroom – to assume that they are correct and not to worry that they may falter.  I also underscore gratitude.  When we take time to appreciate the many gifts we are given and just how fortunate we are, no matter our circumstances, we are better able to stretch ourselves – to learn without fear of failure.  Finally, I encourage my students to prepare thoroughly first, of course, and then to go into each assessment with a positive attitude.  I deter any and all negativity in my sessions.  Students who claim, “I am horrible at math,” or “I know I won’t do well,” are reminded never again to say that – certainly not in my presence - and never to believe it.

Achor posits that 90% of long-term happiness is predicted by the way we process the world, in other words, the way we cope with stress and defeat. Many people are unhappy and vehemently believe that they are unhappy because of their circumstances and their failings.  To the contrary, Achor argues that happiness determines success, not the other way around.

At this Thanksgiving, take time to watch Achor’s TED Talk with your children: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLJsdqxnZb0  Incorporate positivity into your daily life, and allow positivity to set your trajectory.  I believe that what we put into the universe will come right back to us.

Can I Have Extra Time?

We live in a world where it has become fashionable, perhaps even expected, to ask for extra time.  We ask for extra time on work deadlines; for dinner with friends, when we are running late; and on taxes.

One of the most important college readiness markers, though, in my opinion, is a student’s ability to manage time.  Often faced for the first time with abundant free time between only periodic classes, college students must make critical choices among friends, extracurricular activities, and books.  Making sure that they are ready, for the most part, to make wise decisions in college is paramount.

No wonder they often are not.  As I tutor my students, I am amazed by the number of teachers who regularly extend deadlines for major projects and essays.  They do so because of a big football game, because of the workload a student has in other classes, because the class has intentionally stalled or distracted the teacher’s instruction, or because the student politely asks for an extension with a smile, but are we doing the students a disservice by readily granting these requests?  Students should learn to manage their time before they leave for college, so at some point they need consistently to feel the severity of a true deadline.

Students with Accommodations

There are instances where students are deserving of additional time, of course.  I realize that debates exist over student accommodations, particularly in light of socioeconomic access and perhaps even questionable psychological diagnoses; however, our current educational system attempts to level the playing field for students with learning differences by granting some of them time-and-a-half and others, double-time. 

I find that teachers often do not implement this accommodation properly, to the detriment of all students.  Accommodating extra time can be a logistical nightmare, so, to make things easier on themselves, teachers frequently just afford all students abundant time. This strips students of the opportunity to learn to manage their time and also fails to afford the needy students any accommodation; how can the students who need extra time ever shine if their classmates have excessive time to polish their work? Alternatively, some teachers allow accommodated students access to an entire test, when half of the assessment will have to be finished later that day or even the next day because of the time required.  Are we really expecting that students will not abuse the temptation to scrounge for an elusive detail in the interim?

Standardized Testing

To further complicate matters, we have students' seeking extra time for the SAT and ACT.  Again, while some students can demonstrate legitimate need for this extra time, there is undoubtedly abuse within the system, where students receive extra time who do not need it, and others, who desperately need it, do not access it.

In short, the whole system is a mess, and our students are being denied the opportunity to grow, to learn, and to respect a deadline, which we all know, is a pretty important life and work skill that can determine whether a student stays in college or drops out.

College Application Deadlines

Colleges have spun this flawed system in their favor, too.  They now, with great frequency, grant application deadline extensions to all students in response to major catastrophes, such as Hurricane Matthew.  Experts recognize that this empathetic gesture accommodates students in need, yes, but perhaps with an underlying motive.  With every extended day, competitive colleges receive additional applications – many additional applications.  At the end of the admission cycle, these additional applications can render coveted lower admissions rates (# of students admitted/# of students applied) and higher yields (# of students attending/# of students accepted), both factors considered by organizations that rank colleges. Why do all students need that application deadline extended anyway?   Our culture of asking for extensions is probably such a mainstay that managing requests for extra time has become a logistical nightmare for colleges, too.  College admission offices probably find it easier to grant a widespread extension, and they benefit greatly by doing so.

Your Mission

 As parents, we have to right this flawed system for our children.  Instill in your children that they must respect a deadline.  Personally model compliant behavior; for example, make every effort to be on time for business and social events, but go further than that:  Encourage your child to show character and to meet an original deadline, especially if a granted extension does not respond to any of his or her own personal circumstances.  Does your son really deserve extra time to file his UNC application when Hurricane Matthew had no impact on your family?  Will your daughter really benefit from working on that English essay for two more weeks when her personal computer was not affected by a schoolwide virus?  Make a conscious decision to ensure that your child knows how to respect a deadline; time is ticking.

A World Obsessed . . . And The Impact on Homework

The summer before last, I read an important book, a must-read for teenagers and their parents:  A Deadly Wandering:  A Mystery, a Landmark Investigation, and the Astonishing Science of Attention in the Digital Age.  In A Deadly Wandering, Matt Richtel, a Pulitzer Prize-winning author recounts the true story of Reggie Shaw, a teenager, who must come to terms with the fact that he has killed two brilliant rocket scientists by texting and driving.  Reggie ultimately seeks redemption by dedicating his entire life to sharing his story to eradicate texting and driving.

Richtel’s deftly written and page-turning account is supported by remarkable cognitive neuroscience that helps us understand exactly how tightly each of us is bound to our smartphones.  While there is no more important message than avoiding texting and driving for our teenage children, as your academic coach, I must extend Richtel’s analysis to studying.

Our cell phones sit on the table or in our pockets.  With each ping or vibration, we receive a shot of dopamine that lures us to pick up the phone and to check our messages.  Trying to resist that lure is nearly impossible.  It is akin, according to Richtel, to a cave man’s trying to ignore being tapped on the shoulder.  He must look to assess whether he is facing an opportunity or a threat; so, too, we must look, to see and to evaluate what news is coming our way.  

We are aware that we should not text and drive, but ignoring a pinging phone requires super-human willpower, especially for a teenager whose frontal lobe has not yet fully developed.  The addictive nature of cell phones is very similar to smoking according to Richtel.  We know that we should not do it, but we do it anyway.  At this point, though, unlike smoking, there simply is not enough shame surrounding the constant interaction with our cell phones to dissuade such behavior.

The statistics are sobering:

18% or more (280,000+) of all crashes are due to texting and driving;

95% say that they know texting and driving is akin to drinking and driving, but 30% or more do it anyway; and

Drivers continue to be distracted for 15 seconds after sending a text message!

If it is this difficult to avoid texting and driving, why would our children not allow a text message to interrupt study time?

Our young are already exposed to an astronomical amount of screen time from binge-watching Netflix to playing Pokémon Go, Candy Crush, or the latest video game, but nothing draws them away more than constant text messaging.  Ask yourself this, “How many text messages does your child receive each day, each week, each month, and what is the impact of this on his or her homework?” While our children try to concentrate on homework, their cell phones emit a constant ping and/or vibration, luring them to near continual distraction.  Homework that should take thirty minutes to complete could take hours, because transitioning between two concurrent activities takes minutes, not seconds. 

While your children study, insist that their cell phones remain completely shut off, even in a different room.  Messages should be checked during study breaks only, and study breaks should follow twenty to thirty minute sessions of focused time. We cannot expect our children to be disciplined, particularly when we look in the mirror and assess our own culpability. 

The Calling Card of Our Future Leaders

            When you look at your children’s class, do you wonder who among them will rise to the top and become a true leader?  Who has what it takes not only to be successful in the classroom but also in the real world?  Who will become a change-maker?  I believe that every future leader shares one essential characteristic; that characteristic is the calling card of our future leaders.

            The obvious:  Our children are suffering from conversation deficit and are generally not reading. With computers and cell phones, real human interaction has largely evaporated.  With jam-packed extra-curricular schedules, family dinners have fallen by the wayside.  With carpooling, our children can hide in the back seat among friends, all quietly surfing the web or catching up on social media.  Between gaming and texting, children are only reading what they have to read for school.  As a result, they are often left insecure when engaging with adults.  They lack the sophisticated vocabulary that develops naturally through regular meaty conversation and consistent reading.

            The reality:  Communication, though, will continue to be critical in our growing digital world.  The ability to articulate opinions, to read facial expressions, to write fluently and concisely, to listen intently, to read effectively, and to speak eloquently will determine who, among our strongest students, will be tomorrow’s leaders. 

            The calling card:  Every one of these skills hinges on broad vocabulary development.  A strong vocabulary is the singular characteristic that distinguishes the very best students from their cohorts – their calling card.  Many students develop the admirable qualities of diligence and resilience and, through grit and hard work, rise to the top of their classes; however, when considering who among these students will be change-makers, my money is on the ones with the greatest facility of language – the best communicators. 

            Armed with an expansive vocabulary, our very best students interact comfortably with business leaders, contribute intelligibly to classroom discussions, comprehend written and oral scientific language, and surpass their classmates.

            The acquisition:  How can you get your children to expand their vocabularies?  I suggest two linked steps to reap maximum rewards.

1.     Read journalistic, high quality news.  Our high school-aged children need exposure to more nonfiction on a wide variety of issues.  Articles that are well-written and rife with rich vocabulary will build their word banks, reading comprehension, and understanding of today’s world quickly.  News gets a bad rap – with good reason during this year’s political campaign – but daily exposure to articles from The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and other well-respected publications will distinguish your children from their classmates.

2.     Engage in follow-up family discussions to reinforce vocabulary and your children’s understanding of issues.  Dedicate five to ten minutes a day to a supplemental conversation on a selected news article.  Purposely incorporate strong vocabulary.  Expose your children to debate and open their minds to consider opposing sides, to question expressed opinions, and to become independent thinkers. 

            Through this meaningful family journey, your children will become not only better students and communicators but also more informed young men and women – hopefully our future change-makers.

The "P" Word

Here is what I know, for sure:

Oprah frustrated many adults and their children when she challenged us all, in so many words, to make our personal passions our life work.  I still cannot go one week without someone asking me, “What is your passion?” or asking me the same question relative to my college-aged children. 

Oprah was a motivational genius when she initiated this dilemma in the 1990’s, telling everyone, “What I know is, is that if you do work that you love, and work that fulfills you, the rest will come.”  She challenged each and every one of us to identify our passion, as if it is the singular profound link to finding success.  The question sent us all into a tailspin, all of us taking interest surveys and searching introspectively to identify what we love.  We have since passed that pressure-filled question onto our children and even linked its ever-important response to college admissions and eventual long-term job prospects.  If you can expend Malcolm Gladwell’s requisite 10,000 hours on your passion, you will become an expert in the field and, no doubt, find success.

Please know that I admire both Oprah Winfrey and Malcolm Gladwell; however, I have looked into the eyes of many a teenager and asked them what really makes them tick – “What do they enjoy doing in their free time?” – only to hear back the mundane response, “Hanging out with friends” or worse, “I don’t know.”  I have coached the ideal students – truly students who embrace every challenge – and yet, they have little motivation to pursue a singular topic of interest, other than those that are assigned to them in a classroom.

Well, I hate to admit it, and I really have grown to detest the “P” word, but finding a passion is really, really important.  I think where we all go astray is believing that our passion can only be that one monumental thing that motivates us, when, in reality, we can have multiple passions.

The summer is the ideal time to identify a passion – an interest or curiosity, if you will – a topic worthy of your thorough investigation.  I challenge you to challenge yourself and your children to pursue a topic of interest to exhaustion.  Put a topic about which you are intensely curious – kites, croquet, the Tudor family, fishing – under a microscope, and read, study, and explore all that you can about that topic.  This is not necessarily a life-long commitment, but try to make it at least a year-long commitment, to evaluate the depth of your interest.

I promise that such a pursuit will bring you joy, if not ultimate success.  Your newfound knowledge will serve to make you, to make your children, multidimensional, interesting, and interested.

That is what I know, for sure.

The Secret to Summer Reading . . . It Might Surprise You.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret:  most children do not enjoy summer reading.  As parents, we believe that our children, who loathe and procrastinate summer reading, are unique.  We imagine that most other teenagers dream wistfully of far-off adventures while lounging away the summer with a thick novel and that we instead must resort to bribing our children or to creating a schedule to enable their mere assigned summer reading completion!  We contemplate strapping our children to a chair with a book and fantasize that they will be hooked and fall romantically in love with the novel of our choosing, a literary classic.  These thoughts are simply misguided.

Few children enjoy reading today, and the number of teens who enjoy reading has sadly continued to decline in recent years.  Generation Z, with birthdates from the mid 90’s or later, have an attention span of about eight seconds.  It has never been more difficult to entice our children with a book. 

How can we get our kids to read over the summer?

Here are my suggestions:

·      Despite their growing age and their occasional disdain for you as parents, your children are watching you.  Model an interest in reading.  Talk excitedly about the books you are enjoying.  Share newspaper articles with your children.  Subscribe to magazines, and indulge.

·      Stop worrying about what your children are reading and simply encourage them to read.  They should not always have to read high-brow literature.

·      Have the entire family “drop everything and read” for thirty minutes each day.  Make the timing consistent, ban all electronics, and have the family enjoy reading together in the same room.

·      Check out audiobooks from the library or download them from audible.com.  Audiobooks and podcasts, such as This American Life, Freakonomics Radio, and Ted Radio Hour, are excellent fodder for summer car trips.

·      Consider treating your children to a book or a magazine each Friday night during the summer.  Let this book or magazine be a fun surprise to which you all look forward.  Vary your selections.

·      Have your entire family read the same book for a summer book club, and let your child choose the book.  Plan a special dinner and book discussion, and give every family member cooking and discussion question responsibilities.

·      Visit the library or book store as a family, just as you may have done when your children were much younger.

·      Read aloud a gripping thriller, chapter by chapter, at family dinners.

And don’t . . .

·      Nag them to read.

·      Ask them when they plan to start their assigned summer reading.  (Let this be their responsibility.  If you implement some of the suggestions above, they will have ample opportunity to complete their assignments.)

·      Argue with them about reading.

Finally, here are some tried and true suggestions, which most teens enjoy.  None of these titles will surprise readers who keep up with popular titles; however, this list can serve as a launching point. Please note that some of these suggestions may be considered controversial, so consult a website, such as Goodreads, to be fully informed and ready to discuss content:

Fiction:

1.     The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

2.     Looking for Alaska by John Green

3.     The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

4.     Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

5.     Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

6.     My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult

7.     The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon

8.     Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell

9.     The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

10.  Me Before You by JoJo Moyes

Non-Fiction:

1.     A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson

2.     The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown

3.     The Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

4.     The Week Magazine

5.     Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner

6.     Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer

7.     Seabiscuit by Laura Hillenbrand

8.     The Other Wes Moore by Wes Moore

Happy summer!  Happy reading!

All Bets Are Off

     “And they’re off!!” 

     The Kentucky Derby was this past weekend.  Extravagant hats emitted airs of wealth and sophistication amid a spectacular party of bourbon and mint juleps.  Horses, released from their stalls, sought admiration and accolades as they sprinted for a mile and a quarter.  Money was spilled; money was made. 

     Truth be told, I have never been to the Derby, but in my mind, there are many parallels between this horse race at Churchill Downs and the horse race our children experience in high school Advanced Placement (AP) classes. Our still young colts and fillies literally race through a rigid training program at breakneck speed in preparation for a final, high stakes test that could well determine their futures.  Coincidentally, the Kentucky Derby falls right in the middle of AP testing, a prescribed two-week period at the beginning of May.

The Racehorses

     When we were high school students, high schools offered, at most, a handful of AP classes.  Since then, though, the College Board has evolved into a moneymaking machine, broadening AP class offerings to exceed 35 and administering almost 4.5 million exams, at $91 a pop, to nearly 2.5 million students in 2015.  The number of students taking AP exams has doubled in the last decade. Students know that they must demonstrate successful completion of a rigorous course load to vie for college admission slots at competitive schools, so they are signing up in increasing numbers for these AP “college level” classes, which also carry bonus quality points and ramp up a student’s weighted grade point average.

     And AP classes are no longer just for the strongest college-bound high school students.  Now, there are “hard” AP classes (e.g., Physics C) and “soft” AP classes (e.g., environmental science), and no doubt college admissions offices know the difference.  In other words, AP classes come at different levels of difficulty, so at least one of them will fulfill your child’s aspiring needs.

     If all of these students are signing up for AP classes in increasing numbers, then what does enrollment in an AP class really say about the students?  The accessibility to AP classes has certainly diminished the positive impact of mere enrollment, and, accordingly, the pressure to perform well on AP exams has increased.  Highly selective colleges expect more than mere passing scores (3+ on a scale of one to five) on AP exams.  Students’ futures often lie in their testing results, as does the job security of their teachers. 

The Fastest Two Minutes in Sports

     The AP curriculum affects classroom instruction year round, not just in May.  Classroom instruction in AP classes is severely regimented.  Teachers race through topics to cover adequately all that a student is expected to know for the broad breadth of the final exam.  There is little to no time for creative diversions, field trips, or additional exploration of topics.  You may be surprised to learn that neither your school board nor your teacher is controlling your child’s curriculum; rather the College Board is.

     Moreover, with less than one month of school to go, instruction in many high school classrooms has come to a virtual halt – the race is already over. May AP testing means that not only must all instruction within any AP classroom be complete by May 1, but also that students of all high school grade levels must miss significant time in other non-AP classrooms to take these lengthy tests.  Teachers of non-AP classes often stop teaching while students come and go from their rooms for AP exams. 

The Finish

       I believe that it is time to call it quits with the AP curriculum.  Imagine a secondary education where interesting seminar classes abound with teachers’ offering creative instruction and inventive (not standardized) testing that enables different types of learners to shine in their own right.  Teachers could then aim to develop the “out-of-the-box” thinkers that we so desperately need.  If your child’s school does not offer AP classes, then your child is at no disadvantage in the college admissions process by not having AP classes on his or her transcript.  College admissions officers expect your child to challenge him or herself, but they never suggest that the only way to do so is through AP classes.  Indeed, many of the best schools in the country have abandoned the AP curriculum.  It might just be time to ask your school or school board to “scratch” the AP curriculum too.